The Dog House

Nothing to redeem

You see, when I lift my arse to the water cooler and hang out with the guys there - I expect response when I open my unwashed mouth and say:

"I touched a girl yesterday."

And those guys looked me in the eye with a curious glance before laughing to themselves.

"You need that Puppy. You've been like, missing out on the whole human relationship thing now, buddy. Even though I believed you paid for it," they said, not grasping the gravity of the situation.

"And a haircut too. Man, I can see grasses coming out of your nose. When was the last time you went to the saloon?"

I shrugged off the question with the finesse of a veteran politician assaulted with pie and sex scandal accusations.

"She is a child." My statement dropped like a farking A-bomb on them. My sin heavy words irradiated their very souls.

I finished my drink and crushed the paper cone.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a daughter. I'm not saying you're not capable of having one, old pal. It's just rather hard to imagine you're married and all," the short, spectacled one tried to diffuse the situation. The rest looked on with mild disbelieve. Mild.

"She is not my child." I left no doubt in my statement. If I had to clarify things further, I might have to strangle someone and throw him from the fifteenth.

"It's alright, Pup. In fact it's rather pleasing to know you have hobbies like everyone else does besides playing videogames in a bat cave every night." Bob from accountant gave me a goofy grin as he slapped me on the back.

"Hobbies?" I snarled.

"Duh, like sports, drinking, women, or some nerdy shit which I believe you should be well acquainted with, like building robots model kits..." Bob explained.

"I know what hobbies are." No one patronise me and get away with less than a dead dog stapled in their face..

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Disclaimer: No underaged girls are harmed in this production. This is a freakin fiction.

This is written in reaction to this:The Pedo Industry

posted by PuppySlayer @ 12:22 AM